Naked and Afraid: A Honeymoon Story

Ok, perverts.  You read the title, clicked eagerly, and here you are at yet another one of my lengthy blogs.  I didn't fool you; Naked and Afraid has a lot to do with our honeymoon, just not what you were expecting.

Part 1: Coco Cabana

Finally, a day just to swim.

We got married on Sunday, and were coming home on Tuesday.  I'm not a fan of "walking the strip" and seeing Joe's Crocs melt on the sidewalk our last day there, so I suggested several days prior that we should "go big, or go home" because afterall, wasn't this our Honeymoon.? The times that Joe and I go on vacation, we usually do something "big" to remember the event.  In Seattle, we went on a night cruise.  In Oakland, we went to an A's game.  It was time to bring out the big guns.

If you recall on my wedding post, I was sobbing to my mother that all I wanted to do was go swimming.  So, you guessed it, we rented a cabana totally Real Housewives style at our hotel for our last day, and that marks as one of the best days I've ever had to date.  I could swim and swim until my heart was content and pretend that I didn't live off of a teacher's salary.

There were two types of cabanas: those for two people and those for eight.  Since Joe's friends and siblings were still in town, we decided to rent the cabana for eight people which came with our own outdoor sitting room, a television, a fridge (fully stocked), a patio, and a pool.  Isn't that what everyone does on their honeymoon: rent a pool to swim with your siblings?

I was the first one there, and was completely soaking in the life of luxury that I will probably never live again.  We ate, we swam, we danced to ridiculous music on the television because we could, we ate all of the free treats, and truly had a ball.

My favorite part of the whole day was when Joe and I started giving out demerits.  Since we invested both a lot of time and money into this day, we wanted everyone to act appropriately.  I think Joe's sister, Nikki, got two demerits, Tommy, his brother, got one, and even his friend, Peter, got one.  And then I started threatening people that if they didn't know how to behave at "our pool," they would have to go to the G.P. pool.  G.P.= General Population pool where the minions (those without a cabana) had to swim amongst the poopy diapers and hairy drains.

I think by the end. each person had threatened at least one other person that they had to go to G.P.  People would just stare at us, and we would laugh and laugh.  Ahhhh, a day to remember..Champi style.

Here are some pictures to capture the event.

Our pool overlooking the G.P. pool.  Suckers.

I had to take a little nap to get my money's worth.

 
Part 2: Naked and Afraid

After our twelve-hour swimming "honeymoon," we had to get back to Utah to plan for the reception.  Several guests were coming from out of town, and there was still much to be done.  Our reception was on Friday, so we decided, that following Sunday, we would spend the night at the Zermatt Resort in Midway, Utah.

On our drive, we realized it was the first time since about ten days prior, that it was just us.  We needed a break, and I was incredibly thankful that we didn't have cell phone service.  We spent the day in Park City, and arrived at Zermatt Sunday night.  It is the one place in Utah that reminds me of Germany.

 

Sadly, we were both exhausted, so we decided to order room service, and of course, I changed into my pajamas.  As I was flipping around television stations, I found the most intriguing show on the Discovery Channel: Naked and Afraid.  It is where two strangers, a male and a female, are dropped off in some remote location in the world, naked, and forced to survive without anything for twenty-one days.  We watched a full episode as we ate our room service, and suddenly, a commercial broke in that said, "You are now watching the Naked and Afraid marathon."  I started squealing like it was the cabana all over again!  Joe insisted that we "explore," so I found myself back in my swimming suit, swimming with a bunch of annoying kids with every pool toy imagineable.  I kept looking at the clock, hoping that Joe's "exploration" would only take an hour, so I would get to see a new episode.  And of course, it worked!

We ended up watching the rest of the marathon that lasted oh, until about 1 a.m, and we came home early the next day because Joe had to work that afternoon.




This was the border in our room.  When I was in Germany, I had something similar, so I had to take a picture.



Just when I thought I needed a midnight snack, Zermatt delivered a nice treat to go along with our marathon.  I, of course, ate one and a half, and Joe just ate a half.

 

Between swimming with the siblings and watching a marathon on the Discovery Channel this is not the typical honeymoon. But then again, I don't think there is anything typical about us.