Thank you, thank you very much

No excuses.  Just write.

Thank you notes...where are you?  I don't have enough toes and fingers to count how many births, graduations, showers, weddings, birthdays, anniversaries, and general life milestones I've been a part of.  I can count however, how many thank you notes I've received in return.  My thoughts?  It's classless and I don't forget.

So let's get this straight.  You invite people to be part of your "big day" in hopes, and this is true, you will get a big pay out in the form of a nicely wrapped gift from your registry, or at the very least, the ever so valuable gift receipt.  And you don't think you should thank your guests that probably didn't even want to come in the first place?  Give me a break. What about the fact that they got all dressed up and drove for miles and showered you with compliments of, "Oh, he's so cute," or "Wow, your dress is beautiful."  What about considering that maybe your guests worked all day and just wanted something edible to eat, and instead were given cheese cubes and water and ended up going home to cook dinner after your so-called big event?  If that doesn't warrant a thank you note, I don't know what will.

Simply put: If you want people to be part of your big day, thank them...formally.  If you have time to take selfies, post about your daily routines (that really aren't that interesting), and either use or return the items given to you, you have time to thank the person that got those precious gifts for you.
Do you have a piece of paper?  A pen?  The time is now, folks.

It's never too late to put on your big boy pants and take a classier route.  Thank you for reading!




P.S.  It may have taken me 3.5 months, but all the wedding and reception thank you notes are completed....all 160 of them.

Naked and Afraid: A Honeymoon Story

Ok, perverts.  You read the title, clicked eagerly, and here you are at yet another one of my lengthy blogs.  I didn't fool you; Naked and Afraid has a lot to do with our honeymoon, just not what you were expecting.

Part 1: Coco Cabana

Finally, a day just to swim.

We got married on Sunday, and were coming home on Tuesday.  I'm not a fan of "walking the strip" and seeing Joe's Crocs melt on the sidewalk our last day there, so I suggested several days prior that we should "go big, or go home" because afterall, wasn't this our Honeymoon.? The times that Joe and I go on vacation, we usually do something "big" to remember the event.  In Seattle, we went on a night cruise.  In Oakland, we went to an A's game.  It was time to bring out the big guns.

If you recall on my wedding post, I was sobbing to my mother that all I wanted to do was go swimming.  So, you guessed it, we rented a cabana totally Real Housewives style at our hotel for our last day, and that marks as one of the best days I've ever had to date.  I could swim and swim until my heart was content and pretend that I didn't live off of a teacher's salary.

There were two types of cabanas: those for two people and those for eight.  Since Joe's friends and siblings were still in town, we decided to rent the cabana for eight people which came with our own outdoor sitting room, a television, a fridge (fully stocked), a patio, and a pool.  Isn't that what everyone does on their honeymoon: rent a pool to swim with your siblings?

I was the first one there, and was completely soaking in the life of luxury that I will probably never live again.  We ate, we swam, we danced to ridiculous music on the television because we could, we ate all of the free treats, and truly had a ball.

My favorite part of the whole day was when Joe and I started giving out demerits.  Since we invested both a lot of time and money into this day, we wanted everyone to act appropriately.  I think Joe's sister, Nikki, got two demerits, Tommy, his brother, got one, and even his friend, Peter, got one.  And then I started threatening people that if they didn't know how to behave at "our pool," they would have to go to the G.P. pool.  G.P.= General Population pool where the minions (those without a cabana) had to swim amongst the poopy diapers and hairy drains.

I think by the end. each person had threatened at least one other person that they had to go to G.P.  People would just stare at us, and we would laugh and laugh.  Ahhhh, a day to remember..Champi style.

Here are some pictures to capture the event.

Our pool overlooking the G.P. pool.  Suckers.

I had to take a little nap to get my money's worth.

 
Part 2: Naked and Afraid

After our twelve-hour swimming "honeymoon," we had to get back to Utah to plan for the reception.  Several guests were coming from out of town, and there was still much to be done.  Our reception was on Friday, so we decided, that following Sunday, we would spend the night at the Zermatt Resort in Midway, Utah.

On our drive, we realized it was the first time since about ten days prior, that it was just us.  We needed a break, and I was incredibly thankful that we didn't have cell phone service.  We spent the day in Park City, and arrived at Zermatt Sunday night.  It is the one place in Utah that reminds me of Germany.

 

Sadly, we were both exhausted, so we decided to order room service, and of course, I changed into my pajamas.  As I was flipping around television stations, I found the most intriguing show on the Discovery Channel: Naked and Afraid.  It is where two strangers, a male and a female, are dropped off in some remote location in the world, naked, and forced to survive without anything for twenty-one days.  We watched a full episode as we ate our room service, and suddenly, a commercial broke in that said, "You are now watching the Naked and Afraid marathon."  I started squealing like it was the cabana all over again!  Joe insisted that we "explore," so I found myself back in my swimming suit, swimming with a bunch of annoying kids with every pool toy imagineable.  I kept looking at the clock, hoping that Joe's "exploration" would only take an hour, so I would get to see a new episode.  And of course, it worked!

We ended up watching the rest of the marathon that lasted oh, until about 1 a.m, and we came home early the next day because Joe had to work that afternoon.




This was the border in our room.  When I was in Germany, I had something similar, so I had to take a picture.



Just when I thought I needed a midnight snack, Zermatt delivered a nice treat to go along with our marathon.  I, of course, ate one and a half, and Joe just ate a half.

 

Between swimming with the siblings and watching a marathon on the Discovery Channel this is not the typical honeymoon. But then again, I don't think there is anything typical about us.



Fred on Finance

Growing up, I was told never to discuss three things: finance, religion, and politics.  For the most part, I don't unless asked, and I never discuss specifics.  Sometimes, those people with the loudest voice have the least amount to say whether it's due to pure ignorance or lack of experience. But for today's quick lesson with Fred on Finance, I don't possess either.

I am a money person.  I always have been, and I always will be.  Strangers, students, family, and friends, come to Joe and I for money-specific questions.  Some listen, some don't, but it is flattering none-the-less that people ask us for advice.  It's telling us that we are doing something right, and sometimes that acknowledgement is what keeps us pressing forward.

We don't have a lot of money, so how can we advise people on how to manage their own?  It's simple.  The money we do have we are smart with.

When I was eighteen and a freshman in college, I decided to strike upon my independence and move out.  But there was one catch: I had to do this entirely on my own.  I didn't want to borrow money and I didn't want a co-signer on my apartment.  So amidst going to college full-time on scholarship, I also got a full-time job that gave students tuition reimbursement.  In short, I was paid to go to school, and I used that money for my rent and utilities, all without a co-signer.

For the next seven years, I lived in apartments by myself and with roommates.  I managed the little money I had successfully and although some months were slimmer than others, I always had a roof over my head and something to eat.  Even if it was Ramen noodles...again.

And then I entered into a relationship that was abusive emotionally as well as financially.  Everything that I had worked for was gone with a few simple swipes of a credit card by an unauthorized user.  I lost friendships, I lost my apartment, and I lost myself.

So I sucked it up.  I moved home at twenty-five.  Could there be anything more humiliating?  I had debt exceeding $30,000, I was a third year school teacher making $30,000 annually, and I had big ideas to attend graduate school.  There was nowhere to go but up. 

The debt consolidation loans and bankruptcy advice letters started arriving in the mail.  I was the perfect candidate for bankruptcy because it wasn't my fault, right?  Wrong.  No, I didn't authorize the user to use my credit card, however, I firmly believe in tough love.  If I can't be tough with myself, and pay the consequences for my own actions, I couldn't look myself in the mirror ever again.  I didn't want to give up that easily.  I had to make it, and I had to do it all by myself.

So I got another job.  I started in the summer as a bartender full-time, and worked 25 hours a week once school started.  My day began at 5:30 am, where I was at school at 7, since I was the SBO advisor. I would handle all my extra-curriculars until 4:30, change my teacher clothes into my black and dreary bartender uniform in the faculty bathroom, and be ready to start my bartending shift at 5:30 and get home at 12:30 a.m.  Then, rinse and repeat for the next several months.

During the few hours I would set aside for sleep, I would stay awake calculating in my head how long I would have until this terrible debt would be paid off.  I never came to a conclusion other than I had to do it in a year's time.  That is, if it didn't kill me first.

And then a year came.  My last payment, and then cancellation of the evil credit card was made exactly to the date that I had set for myself.  I still have that credit card and I carry it around with me to remind me that I am in control and I will never reach that point again.

So no, I am not a financial advisor.  I have no awards in money managing or foreign bank accounts (save that for Mr. Romney).  But what I do have is a horrific experience that hopefully will prevent others from being in the same situation.

***

 

Cut or eliminate your entertainment budget.  When someone comes to us for advice, the first question I ask is, "how much do you spend going out?"  This includes everything from fast food to movies.  And you guessed it, sometimes I'm told that this happens several times a week!  Eating at home saves tons of money!  Renting movies or watching the television that you are already paying for saves even more!  And that whole excuse of "I have to get out of the house!"  Guess how many things are out of your house and entirely free?  I grew up in a family that only went out to eat on special occasions.  I am proud to say that is still the case.  In fact, I can count how many times I go to a restaurant and a movie each year on my hands!  I guess I see it if you are always going out and always doing something expensive, then your expectations will keep getting higher and higher.  Joe and I look at these times as a rare treat.  We order whatever we want on the menu and appreciate it more because it doesn't occur that frequently.  For one entire year when we were dating, we both cashed in all of our coins.  Between the two of us, we had several hundreds of dollars.  That was our entertainment fund for the year, and once it was gone, it was gone. 

 

Cash only.  If you like sleep as much as I do, then staying up worrying about how you're going to pay off your credit card is not an option.  Buy what you NEED with the money you HAVE.  If your only answer is to put it on a credit card, then don't buy it in the first place.  Joe and I have one credit card between us that wasn't touched until our wedding came.  We paid for the first half of our wedding through cash (the wedding, hotel, and dinner in Vegas) and the second half is on the credit card (reception in Utah).  This is our entire focus and we will not be going on any lavish vacations (which we always paid cash for) until it's paid off.  The only good balance on a credit card is one that begins and ends with a zero.

 

Bills first.  Bills are a priority.  It's hard for me to take someone seriously when they are always going out but yet whining that they don't have any money in their account to pay their gas bill.  My good friend, Jo, who is an expert at finances, pays more on her utilities every month so that when Christmas comes, she doesn't have to make a payment.  If you plan on going on vacation, always pay your bills ahead of time, so you have money to spend on your vacation and you don't have to worry about your electricity being shut off while you're gone!

 

Don't borrow from family/friends.  My motto (kind of going along with the tough-love approach) "I will give you a place to stay or food to eat, but don't ever, ever ask us for money."  I firmly believe that once money starts exchanging hands, the relationship changes, and generally for the worst.  Don't be in a place that you have to ask someone for money.  It's not fair to put them in that situation.  Why should they have to suffer because you can't manage your money?  If you have a bigger heart than me (or at least one that isn't iced over) and you decide to "loan" someone money, consider it a gift.  The chances of you getting it back in a timely matter with the relationship still intact are slim to none.  And besides, if you've seen Judge Judy, you probably won't get it back either because the Plaintiff will say "but I thought it was a gift."

 

Coupons are money.  So you're too lazy to cut out free money on Sunday morning?  Sucks for your wallet.  Between newspapers, online, and mail inserts, there are coupons for nearly everything!  Joe and I use coupons for things that we want instead of what we need.  We NEED milk but we WANT ice cream.  Well guess what, unless there is a coupon for the icecream, we don't buy it. 

 

Separate accounts.  Financial distress is the number one reason couples get divorced.  Person A spends tons of money and Person B has no idea.  When Person B finally takes a look at the finances they get upset and yell at Person A who claims that Person B should have communicated with them the financial situtation in the first place.  The end result?  Divorce and usually a Lifetime movie.  Joe and I have four accounts.  We both have our own checking accounts.  We have one savings and one bills account.  I don't have access to his checking.  He doesn't have access to mine.  Neither one of us touch our savings unless it's to put money in.  We both pay our bills equally.  Once the bills are taken care of, we do whatever we want with the money we earned, or just keep it in our checking.  He doesn't get mad at me for buying an eighth or ninth Christmas tree, I won't get mad at him for taking a picture with Stan Lee at Comicon.  Why?  Because we took care of our bills ahead of time.

 

Live within your means.  A great quote I got from one of my former officers, Courtney, shared, "We buy things we don't need, with money we don't have, to impress people we don't like."  Why do people buy a gigantic house that they are never home to enjoy because they have to work extra hard to afford the mortgage?  Those same people blab about how wonderful their house is, but generally, people are never invited over.  Why?  Because they have no furniture!  Good grief! My house is called Lil Beans for a reason...it's little!  We love having people over to sit on our little furniture, and it even looks extra shiny because dun, dun, dun, it's paid for.

 

Pray for the best, plan for the worst.  Joe and I spent our 4th of July, two days before we left for our wedding in Vegas, in a house that was 96 degrees.  Why?  Our central air pump failed.  When fit hits the shan, can you pay for it?  The wedding was our priority, not the stupid air conditioner.  We paid cash, got it fixed, and were able to concentrate on the most important day of our lives.

 

If you don't learn how to manage money effectively, it will manage you.  Put on your big boy/girl pants and take care of business. Ready?  Go!