ABC does it. So does NBC and CBS. Kathy Lee, Hoda, and Katie do it. So do Bethenny and Ellen. From the New York Times to Star, it's my turn. I proudly present the 2013 Fred Awards. These awards are given to those ultimately deserving pop culture icons and has beens, from the "Oh my gosh!" to the "Eww...gross!" moments that left all of us mediaholics thirsty for more.
Most Inspirational
Pope Francis, March 13, 2013. He lived in a shoebox of an apartment, takes the public bus with the Cardinals, and greets staff and patients in hospitals. His "no frills" approach to the papcy earns him my most inspirational person of 2013.
Most Devastating
Boston Marathon Bombing, April 15, 2013. With three dead and nearly three hundred wounded, Americans helped fellow Americans.
Guiltiest Pleasure
Gypsy Sisters. "No one better mess with my Gypsy Sisters!" is the tag line, and millions of us anticipate each week what these four, now six gypsy relatives will do to themselves and each other. From using motor oil to tan, to punching your cousin in the face on your sister's husband's cousin's front lawn, this guilty pleasure is already on its second season with no plans of hitching a motor home in any other place other than our television screens.
Biggest Face-Palm
Kanye and Kim. You named your baby WHAT? And this made news WHY? It took me exactly seventy-two minutes to realize I don't give a south or east.
Most Anticipated
Price William and Duchess Kate. We were glued to our television sets. We changed stations hoping to get better coverage. We wept when the scroll was put up in front of the palace and admired Kate's blue dress (and figure) when she carried her bundle of joy down the hospital steps. From the most anticipated wedding, to the most anticipated Royal Baby, Prince George has officially arrived. Souvenir mug sold separately.
Most Debated
Paula Deen. It was a simple case: She admitted to using racial slurs and her employer didn't renew her contract. But still, "Save Paula Deen" posters clogged up Facebook like butter in your arteries. What's wrong? Does Giada only use margarine?
Biggest Mover and Shaker
Nene Leakes. From stripper to millionaire, this woman proudly states that, "I'm RICH, B-----!" Born in Athens Georgia, she is the only woman left from the original cast of The Real Housewives of Atlanta. There, she gained roles in The New Normal, Glee, and The Celebrity Apprentice. She even re-wed her ex-husband on you guessed it, her own television show. She moves, she shakes, and she makes us laugh so hard we pee a little.
Most Shocking
Robin Thicke. Robin Thicke = Cool. Robin Thicke releasing catchy song in Spring = Awesome. Robin Thicke performing with Miley Cyrus and defining what "twerk" means = Disgusting. Let's just stick to the radio and figuring out what rhymes with "hug me."
Most Memorable
The New Yorker. When we are asked to think, that is always a good thing. When we are asked to do so without prompts, that's even better. Love it or hate it, it made you think.
Most Unproductive
Government Shutdown. Here's an idea. I'm going to hate something and try to prevent it from being launched. Let's call it Obamacare. And to make sure it won't be implemented, I'm going to shut down all government offices including the IRS and National Parks, putting millions of people out of work until I'm listened to. But I'm going to continue working and receiving a paycheck because hello, I have to survive in this harsh economy.
Several weeks later...
Oh crap. It didn't work. I hope the people that I forced out of work for several weeks will still re-elect me. Maybe I should send them a nice button or bumper sticker, with donated funds, of course.
Most Disgusting
Miley Cyrus. She "twerked" to "Blurred Lines," is naked on a wrecking ball, and accepts an award with a joint? Thank you, Miley Cyrus, for giving parents and future parents visual representation on everything your child should not do...ever. WWHMD? (What would Hannah Montana do?). She would smack her, bathe her, and give her clothes to put on.
Most Dysfunctional
The Real Housewives of New Jersey. Aside from the franchise which is wholly dysfunctional and addicting, the New Jersey housewives offer dysfunctional on a whole new level--they are all related. It all started with a sister who hates her sister-in-law which caused her husband to hate this sister. Then the cousin takes the sister-in-law's side and involves her sister who happens to be a lesbian (but that was "settled" last season). Add in a dash of matriarch and her sister-in-law who aren't speaking to their other sister-in-law, we have an all-around rumble which lasted for two hours that involved a castle, one man biting another man's privates, and black hair dye. I think an Emmy is brewing...
Best Showmanship
Peyton Manning. I cried when he went to the Broncos. All of a sudden my jerseys turned from blue to orange. Few thought that Manning would be his old, MVP, Superbowl self after his 2011 neck injury. But he came back, and he beat Tom Brady's record for the most touchdown passes in a season, ending the 2013 regular season with fifty-five touchdown passes. He's a class act that never forgets where he came from or loses sight as to where he is headed. We love you, Peyton.
Most Missed
This post would not be complete without giving proper attention to those that have been an inspiration to us for years and have passed. The first, James Gandolfini, who we know as Tony Soprano, died on June 19. He was an incredible actor for the amazing television series The Sopranos, in which he earned thirteen awards. The Sopranos, in my opinion, changed the face of cable
television series.
Finally, where would our world be today without Nelson Mandela? He was a lawyer, politician, and social activist, who dedicated his life to ending apartheid. The legacy he left will never be forgotten and our lives are enriched just for being on this earth the same time he was. "It always seems impossible until it's done." RIP.
