No Excuses

One of my favorite classes that I teach is Base Camp.  Base Camp is a credit recovery course for students who are behind on graduation credit.  Most of the time is spent in silence while these kids are feverishly working on homework or packets, but every now and again, I take the opportunity to teach them a life lesson. 

On Day 1, as teachers are passing out disclosures and going over their long list of classroom rules (which I do in my other two courses), I have only one statement on the board for base camp.  It reads:

 On June 6, I will be at graduation, will you? 

 

I use this statement to start off class and to teach them that obviously something has happened along the way to land them in my class.  Maybe it was illness, or laziness, or home school, or lack of parenting, or pregnancy; regardless, they need to check their baggage at the door and concentrate on graduating and only on graduating.  My classroom motto is simple: No Excuses.  My only goal is to get them to graduate whether they are down one credit or thirteen. What do I want from them?  To see the value in graduating and meeting a goal...there is no excuse not to.

At graduation, while all of the students stand in line alphabetically, I go and congratulate my base camp students and my CE students.  I've done this for four years, and it is one of the things I look forward to the most out of the entire school year.  Last year, as I was hugging one of my darling base camp boys, he began to cry.  His words were simple and heartbreaking, "You are the only person here to see me graduate."  I didn't know what to say, so out it came, "there is no excuse for some people."  This particular student worked full-time, went to school full-time, and gave his parents every cent of his paycheck because they couldn't find work.  All he wanted was for his pathetic parents to sit in a hot auditorium and clap when his name was read or to fake a smile, and then take him to Chuck-a-Rama for a piece of processed chicken and a sundae. They weren't there, and he will never graduate from high school again.  There was no excuse reasonable enough for them not being there. 

We are fourteen days away from getting married.  As time winds down, we often catch ourselves reflecting on the whole engagement/wedding process, and I see how I am adopting the whole Base Camp No Excuses mantra.  For instance, since I've had exactly one year to plan, there is no excuse for it not being exactly how I wanted it.  Similar to my base camp student, however, I can only be responsible for so much.  He didn't have control over his parents, much like I don't have control over the people in my life (except for Joe, haha). 

If I could do an investigational research study on this whole wedding process, I would focus my energy on others' behavior rather than my own.  Picking Joe's brain, as well as my own, here is what we have learned about others during this process:

• Our married friends and family are more supportive than our single friends and family.
• Our vendors have become some of our biggest fans and friends for life.
• Everyone has an opinion about something, but you have to do what's best for you.
• Weddings, funerals, births, and graduations bring out the best and the worst in people.

We've also classified our friends and family into five categories for our own amusement.  I tried to stick with a common theme, but due to our newly-discovered green thumbs, all we could think of at the end was lawn care.

Rock Solid: Those that have been supportive from the beginning, but we assumed they probably would be. (Mamacita, Joe's immediate family, Grandpa George).

Gems: Our "shiners."  Those that we knew would help us, but they went beyond what we expected from them, and we truly feel that they have helped us make this wedding possible. (Shannon, Shannon, Melissa, Kristin, Justin, Peter).

Fossils: Those that weren't on our radar, but once they surfaced, have helped us realize that there are great people out there who are selfless and 100% happy for us. We need to upgrade our relationship status from "acquaintence" to "friend."  (Joe's aunts and cousins who aren't really his aunts and cousins are driving from California and have been so sweet to us throughout the year).

Crab grass: Those that exist without any expectations placed on them, and somewhere along the line we invited them out of obligation.  As rude as that sounds, let's be honest: they are just coming for the food and I probably won't see them again until the next obligatory event.

Dandelions: These are some of our friends and family members who we thought would be beautiful flowers and surprised us/disappointed us by being dandelions.  We were waiting for a phone call SOMEWHERE in the 365 days like, "Hey, so excited for you.  Do you need help with anything?"  Instead, we got a whole bunch of excuses and I cried many tears along the way. 

So there you have it.  My last post before our wedding that, like high school graduation, will come and go whether anyone (except for me and Joe) is there or not.  We are excited to share our day with you and you can eat all of the unprocessed chicken that you want!  But please, keep your excuses (and children) at home.

On July 12, I will be at my wedding reception, will you?