One of the first decisions you need to make with hopefully, money-minded individuals, is exactly how much money you are allocating for your wedding and who is going to pay for what. What I find the most disturbing in the many wedding situations I've come across is this: Bride's are Clueless. Why you ask? Because they are not the one's paying for it. If that isn't all sorts of screwed up, I don't know what is.
Families function in different ways and some families pay for the wedding as a gift for their daughter. Traditionally, a bride's family pays for the wedding. But does that mean that she can go hog wild and send her parents to the poor house? I certainly hope not. There is a billboard by Layton Hills Mall that once read, "Daughter Getting Married? Take out a second mortgage with us today!" This is why people have the financial burdens that they do. They are paying for a lifestyle that they can't afford now and will certainly bite them in the bottom for the next ten years. As Dave Ramsey states, "don't buy things you don't need, with money you don't have, to impress people you don't like. And as we all know, there are lots of people that come to weddings that we really don't like :-)
Since Joe and I are older, and both of us have been out on our own for quite some time, it just made sense for us to pay for it. It's expensive. It's stressful. It sucks. Why would I want to put my parents through that? It is JUST.TOO.MUCH. Besides, if they pay for my wedding, what type of inheritance will that leave for me? Haha.
Whether you are a bride who is paying for it yourself or a bride who has been graced by the money tree in your parents backyard, please be budget-conscious. What I mean by budget-conscious is to stick to what your original plan was and make no exceptions EVER. If you allocated $1,500 for a wedding dress for example, don't even think about trying on a dress that is $2,000. Chances are, you will love the $2,000 dress and then instantly, your budget just went up $500, and that is not fair to the person paying for the dress. Don't put them in that situation. Stick to your budget if you plan on having positive relationships with people, not things, in the future.
As you plan your wedding, be aware of what things cost. A wedding can be as small or as extravagent as you want, but every layer of extravagence added is at a cost to you. And no offense, this is generally not the groom's strongest area. I told Joe how much our photographer cost and he completely flipped out (despite it being a killer deal). I asked him what he thought we should pay for a photographer and his response, "One-hundred bucks." Rrriiiiggghhhttt. He then said that a wedding dress should be anywhere between fifty to seventy-five dollars. See what I mean? Let's just say it's been a eye-opening/popping experience for him.
Once you select one of your biggest purchases, the venue, see what they provide. Are they all-inclusive or do you need to bring in outside vendors? Do these vendors have partnerships with each other? If they do, you will usually get a discout. As your interviewing vendors, remember it is their job to upsell you, and your job to stay in budget. Every little bow that you think is precious and will just make or break your decor is for a price, my darlings. Make sure it's worth it.
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